Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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