They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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