and you said cock pushups were impossible
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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