where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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