If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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