I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
