I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
