Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize