i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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