dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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