you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
