do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
