Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
