What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
3pm strippers are depressing
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
