yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
