i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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