U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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