who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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