I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
