im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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