the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
