People in love make me want to vomit
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Randomize
