you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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