I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize