did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
this will be a night to untag.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
