Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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