Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
