I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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