You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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