i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
