Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
