I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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