In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
