No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
