I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
