I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
