TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
