If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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