Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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