I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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