So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
