is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
