We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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