do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
