return my video game
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
