We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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