If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
