Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
