He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
