i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
