if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this just has baby written all over it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
