How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
