I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
