she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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