I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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