I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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