escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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