I think my vagina is haunted
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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