And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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