i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
