Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
