I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
