can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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