I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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