Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
