how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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