We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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