I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
