oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
