My room smells like vodka and shame
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
