Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
