I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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