what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
