Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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