you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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