I'm going to jail i love you
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize