His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When are your genitals available?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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