I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
