My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She announced her abortion via fbk
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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