when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize