dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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