His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
